My First 6 Weeks
First, I am a big believer in signs. Not the ‘here’s your sign’ stuff from Bill Engvall, although I think he and the rest of the Blue Collar Comedy guys are hysterical. I am speaking of the little things in life that reaffirms your belief system. The mental ‘click’ that drops into place when something is right or that tells you that you’re on the right path.
For me the signs are from my subconscious. I tend to have premonition dreams weeks or months in advance that so closely mimic my normal day-to-day life that I don’t know if the event happened or if I really dreamed it. The majority of time I don’t even realize I have had them until I am in the moment and have that shivery déjà vu feeling. All through the process of paperwork and waiting for my travel assignment I have had small confirming signs. Then, when I need them, my signs dry up. No problem, I think, I know I am supposed to be here.
Then events begin that make me question the forks in the road and my choices regarding them:
Due to fog and the pilots needing a 8 hour nap we were rerouted to Karaganda, a town built out of a
German POW camp from WWII that is now little more than a shell and guarded by security forces who
do not realize that the cold war is over and that they lost.
The apartment I am taken to has little security and so much mold/mildew that I am on meds for 10 days.
My translator was surprised when I moved to the hotel.
The first meetings with the Departmet of Ed and Dept of Care & Guardianship were delayed 3 days. When they were finally held, I was asked to stay in the car for one and the other was in the car after we picked her up at the flea market and drove her somewhere. Yikes! This certainly inspired confidence in the system.
Bonding began with a boy I really enjoyed. He had some health needs I thought they were manageable. As I spent more time with him, it was apparent his needs were greater than I could handle. With great sadness I stopped the bonding process before we got too attached. I was thrilled when they later told me he has a family.
I was next shown a boy with FAS. Has now been adopted:-)
I was next shown a girl with Turner’s Syndrome.
I was next shown 2 boys with mental retardation or whatever the politically correct term is nowadays.
Then after several days I was told an 18-month old boy was supposed to become available. I waited on his news…to find out that the rules had changed. Again. Adopting parents will now be held to the ages on their paperwork. My paperwork says up to 15 months. He was now considered too old for me to adopt.
Next available babies – the last week in December. Do I stay or go home? Through all this I have contacted agencies, other adoptive families, & the US embassy for assistance and information. Advice: Stick it out.
Spanish families come in (2) they get matched with 14 and 15 month old boys. I start on my email campaign again to everyone I think has some pull.
Over a week passes with no info. Then on day 39 several of us were out and about walking Kirova Park, when a bird pooped on me. It figures, I think, I have no coat to change off with if I send this for cleaning. But, Kelly and Michelle say for Asians, that is a sign of good luck. So I leave it for a couple of days…
Then on day 41 (a Thursday) I hear that there is a baby boy for me to see – healthy :-) and that I will be able to see him Friday. Then Friday morning I am told not until Tuesday as it was too soon and Monday is a holiday. So close and it felt like this would fall through as well. How much could I take? On the other hand, it is only another 3 days.
Then, later that afternoon I had the strongest good feeling I had had in a very long time…